Okay, that headline is either an audition for a gig at Daily Variety or a desperate cry for help.
But that's not important now.
The Ford Flex was supposed to be The Answer. The way forward from minivans. In fact, Ford stopped making its Freestar minivan and the Taurus X crossover in the belief that the Flex would deliver those (few) customers and a bunch more.
Hasn't happened.
Days go by...sometimes weeks...before I see a Flex on the streets of the car-crazy metropolis of four million souls in which I live and drive, a place where you'd die of internal bleeding if there were a "punch dub" game for minivans, Tahoes and even Suburbans.
Only 12,598 Flexes left dealerships for driveways and garages in the first four months of this year...which puts it on track to do less than 40,000 units sold in 2010. Not the stuff of which hits are made.
Just ten days after Ford took the wraps off its new Taurus-based police vehicle, Carbon Motors, which says it will make only one car...the E7, and only for the police market, beginning in 2012, now says it'll be powered by a BMW diesel 6-cylinder engine. Carbon will also be fighting Chevrolet's revived Caprice police cruiser. Details from NASDAQ here.
If there's a feeling I hate as much as any other, it's being too late. Getting to the party after all the fun's been had.
When I was a kid, a big Ford, optioned properly, was a cool grownup's car (think red Galaxie 500 XL hardtop or convertible with knock-offs and a big V8...or better yet, just look at the picture above).
By the time I got my license (a mere decade later), big Fords were grandma's cars. In fact, the only person I knew who owned one was my friend Sara's grandma.
And from there, they devolved into service animals. If you've hailed a cab or been pulled over by the police in the last 25 years, odds are it was a big Ford Crown Victoria.
So what, you ask? Well, the Crown Vic is on its way out. Available only as a fleet vehicle now, it'll be unavailable, period in a year or less. And it's here that paths of opportunity cross.
Ford's been trying to rehabilitate the Taurus nameplate since Alan Mullaly took over a few years ago and ordered the well-built, competent but bland Five Hundred rebadged as a Taurus. Here's the chance. Make the Taurus a little bigger and a lot better, and there's a vehicle worthy of being considered Ford's flagship.
Fully cognizant of what happened to the last guy who said this out loud: Mission Acccomplished.
The 2010 Taurus is a surprise and a delight. Big, roomy, powerful, carefully assembled of higher quality materials than the Blue Oval has been known for in quite some time. Yes, Virginia, this is a Ford interior:
The tester I drove for a week was the top-of-the line SEL model (base price $27,170)...with a 3.5 liter V6 and six-speed automatic transmission. Loaded with the rapid spec package that includes SYNC, reverse sensors, ambient lighting and 19 inch wheels as well as a separate leather package, the sticker stopped at $31,890.
The EPA says 18 city/28 highway.
The only downer I could find is the agressively angled headrests...which hit me exactly at a point where I had to tilt my head down slightly in order to drive. If I were shorter or taller (I'm six feet even), it probably wouldn't be a problem, but still.
The Taurus is a triumph for Ford...the first truly relevant family sedan that company's made since the first Taurus in 1986...and the first desirable big grownup's car since...well, probably the '63.
