Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Parking where you don't fit in
Don't try to get original tires for a 76 Mustang Cobra II... they are 533 apiece. Not total... that would be 2132 total plus tax and delivery
I found on http://www.hagerty.com/?utm_source=ExactTarget&utm_medium=email&utm_term=&utm_content=Client&utm_campaign=Hagerty%20News-September a side bar question for the concierge, that a guy wanted help finding the right tires for his 76 Mustang Cobra II.
between a 195 and a 205/70/13 .. and the reply was that they are $533 apiece, http://www.hotrodhanks.com/products/tires/searchType/category/tireCategory/radial/tireSize/205_SLASH_70-13?utm_source=ExactTarget&utm_medium=email&utm_term=&utm_content=Client&utm_campaign=Hagerty%20News-September
and with 4, they are worth more than that car.
between a 195 and a 205/70/13 .. and the reply was that they are $533 apiece, http://www.hotrodhanks.com/products/tires/searchType/category/tireCategory/radial/tireSize/205_SLASH_70-13?utm_source=ExactTarget&utm_medium=email&utm_term=&utm_content=Client&utm_campaign=Hagerty%20News-September
and with 4, they are worth more than that car.
Bruce McCall's Zany Afternoons collection of crazy cars you've never heard of
from http://deansgarage.com/2011/1932-kranzler-sturm-roadster/
to buy a copy of this book, http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0394735048/ref=dp_olp_used?ie=UTF8&condition=used
the mad world of crazy aircraft found in Major Howdy Bixby’s Album of Forgotten Warbirds on Dean's Garage.com
found on http://deansgarage.com/2011/bixbys-warbirds/
to buy yourself a copy http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0394735048/ref=dp_olp_used?ie=UTF8&condition=used
This is good for a laugh at it's absurdity, the Vespa stunt team... crazy
the Beau James, 1975 GMC truck. What idiot thought that was a good name to increase sales? Could have been the ad guy competing against the "Gentleman Jim"
advertising,
GMC,
humor,
morons,
truck
the Parking Lot Movie, a documentary movie looking at how people act in parking lots, it's good.
The film follows a select group of parking lot attendants and their strange rite of passage. The eccentric brotherhood of attendants consist of grad students, overeducated philosophers, surly artists, middle-age slackers and more.
They hang out at the lot even in their spare time, shooting the breeze or playing a spirited game of "flip cone," just because...they like it there. They conduct their own private "war" against the elites, the pretentious and obnoxious customers who park their BMWs, Hummers, Suburbans and other vehicles.
They study the art of doing nothing and the knack of getting even with rude, SUV-driving dolts who treat them like inferior beings. The gradual devolution from enthusiasm to resentment in the psyches of guys self-aware enough to notice it is an interesting process; in an attempt to distract themselves from the rapidly mounting bitterness, the attendants amuse themselves any way they can-stenciling random messages on the parking gate, writing songs, even dancing for tips.
Through interviews with former attendants who have moved on - you can see that their time at the lot has clearly provided rites of passage and afforded them Zen-like perspective. Most were college students while working there, some are still college students.
This is on instant download on Netflix, and a better preview is at http://www.imdb.com/video/wab/vi2759262745/
Jeremy Clarkson's 10 Commandments
1. Thou Shalt Not Walk Anywhere
A simple one. You must always drive wherever you are going. Walking is for Guardian-readers, public transport is for poor people and cycling is for people like Richard Hammond, and you don’t want to be like him, do you?
If your route is blocked by, say, a pavement or a doorway, then just buy a micro-car like an old Messerschmitt. Yes, it’s very small, and no, it hasn’t got a stonking great V8 engine in it, but it’s small enough to fit into your office lift and if it means that you’ll never have to walk again…
2. Thou Shalt Not Use The Devil’s Fluid
No, not that; I mean diesel. Not only do diesel-powered cars smell funny and make a horrid noise, they are too slow.
In his book Born to be Riled he says of a diesel driver: “he drops a cog to get that hideously inefficient engine into the upper echelons of its miserable power band … it’s hard to tell he’s done this because, obviously, there’s no discernible change in pace.” ‘Nuff said?
3. Thou shalt Not Visit Norfolk
I’m not sure why he detests Norfolk so much but it might have something to do with it having no motorways, hardly any petrol stations and being impossible to get to. You’d think that being home to Lotus Cars would have changed his mind, wouldn’t you?
But no, even being the home to the Elise and Exige isn’t enough to stop him from saying that you should avoid it unless you like “orgies and the ritual slaying of farmyard animals”.
4. Thou Shall Worship Bob Segar
Clarkson is famous for his love of dodgy 1970s prog-rock but when asked what six CDs he’d have in his autochanger for a drive across Europe five out of the six were Bob Segar. (The sixth was the Doobie Brothers, in case you were wondering.)
5. Thou Shalt Not Drive Front-Wheel Drive Cars
Clarkson loves his rear-wheel drive cars and won’t drive anything else – unless, of course, it’s an Alfa Romeo, or a Peugeot 205 GTI, or a VW Polo GTi, all of which can be forgiven for their inability to shred their rear tyres while doing doughnuts…
6. Thou Shall Worship The Range Rover
A big V8 petrol engine, British-made (just), go-anywhere ability, and the eco-mentalists hate them. He dedicated his book Driven to Distraction to “Everyone who made my Range Rover” and went on to say “Well done chaps. It’s brilliant.”
7. Thou Shall Be As Offensive As Possible About Foreigners
If you go to America then you must refer to it as the “Land of the brave … home of the dim”, in Vietnam you must remind them of the war and in Holland you must assume that everyone takes drugs and indulges in man-love.
Germans are “Nazis”, Koreans all eat dogs and the Mexicans are “lazy” and Mexico “doesn’t have an Olympic team… because anyone who can run, jump or swim is already across the border”.
His most offensive comment, though, was reserved for Ethiopia, when he said that a particular car: “should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.”
8. Thou Shall Worship The Toyota Hilux
As well as getting him, James May and half-a-dozen Quail’s eggs to the magnetic North Pole (and beating Hammond there, which was the best bit) Clarkson also tested another Hilux by crashing it, burning it, drowning it and dropping it off a tower block, none of which could kill it.
The remains (still capable of being driven) are displayed in the Top Gear studio.
9. Thou Shall Run A Dictatorship
The Top Gear “Cool Wall” is the very model of good taste. The test “would Kristin Scott Thomas be impressed if you picked her up in it?” (although Kristin has been replaced recently by Fiona Bruce after she displayed some odd attitudes towards cars and said that she owned a Honda Civic…) is rigorously applied and Hammond and Clarkson generally agree on what’s cool and what isn’t.
However, if they disagree then Clarkson has the casting vote as he claims that he never said that Top Gear was a democracy. (He will also put the cards high up to stop Hammond moving them too!)
10. Thou Must Hate Piers Morgan
Piers ran two pictures in The Mirror showing Jeremy allegedly kissing a woman. Jeremy responded by punching him in the face at the British Press Awards and throwing water over him during Concorde’s last flight. Mind you, doesn’t hitting Piers just make us love him even more?
From http://www.breakdowncover.org/blog/jeremy-clarkson-10-commandments thanks to Chris!
If you like Clarkson's sense of humor, his best quotes are here: http://justacarguy.blogspot.com/2010/05/25-awesome-jeremy-clarkson-quotes.html
A simple one. You must always drive wherever you are going. Walking is for Guardian-readers, public transport is for poor people and cycling is for people like Richard Hammond, and you don’t want to be like him, do you?
If your route is blocked by, say, a pavement or a doorway, then just buy a micro-car like an old Messerschmitt. Yes, it’s very small, and no, it hasn’t got a stonking great V8 engine in it, but it’s small enough to fit into your office lift and if it means that you’ll never have to walk again…
2. Thou Shalt Not Use The Devil’s Fluid
No, not that; I mean diesel. Not only do diesel-powered cars smell funny and make a horrid noise, they are too slow.
In his book Born to be Riled he says of a diesel driver: “he drops a cog to get that hideously inefficient engine into the upper echelons of its miserable power band … it’s hard to tell he’s done this because, obviously, there’s no discernible change in pace.” ‘Nuff said?
3. Thou shalt Not Visit Norfolk
I’m not sure why he detests Norfolk so much but it might have something to do with it having no motorways, hardly any petrol stations and being impossible to get to. You’d think that being home to Lotus Cars would have changed his mind, wouldn’t you?
But no, even being the home to the Elise and Exige isn’t enough to stop him from saying that you should avoid it unless you like “orgies and the ritual slaying of farmyard animals”.
4. Thou Shall Worship Bob Segar
Clarkson is famous for his love of dodgy 1970s prog-rock but when asked what six CDs he’d have in his autochanger for a drive across Europe five out of the six were Bob Segar. (The sixth was the Doobie Brothers, in case you were wondering.)
5. Thou Shalt Not Drive Front-Wheel Drive Cars
Clarkson loves his rear-wheel drive cars and won’t drive anything else – unless, of course, it’s an Alfa Romeo, or a Peugeot 205 GTI, or a VW Polo GTi, all of which can be forgiven for their inability to shred their rear tyres while doing doughnuts…
6. Thou Shall Worship The Range Rover
A big V8 petrol engine, British-made (just), go-anywhere ability, and the eco-mentalists hate them. He dedicated his book Driven to Distraction to “Everyone who made my Range Rover” and went on to say “Well done chaps. It’s brilliant.”
7. Thou Shall Be As Offensive As Possible About Foreigners
If you go to America then you must refer to it as the “Land of the brave … home of the dim”, in Vietnam you must remind them of the war and in Holland you must assume that everyone takes drugs and indulges in man-love.
Germans are “Nazis”, Koreans all eat dogs and the Mexicans are “lazy” and Mexico “doesn’t have an Olympic team… because anyone who can run, jump or swim is already across the border”.
His most offensive comment, though, was reserved for Ethiopia, when he said that a particular car: “should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.”
8. Thou Shall Worship The Toyota Hilux
As well as getting him, James May and half-a-dozen Quail’s eggs to the magnetic North Pole (and beating Hammond there, which was the best bit) Clarkson also tested another Hilux by crashing it, burning it, drowning it and dropping it off a tower block, none of which could kill it.
The remains (still capable of being driven) are displayed in the Top Gear studio.
9. Thou Shall Run A Dictatorship
The Top Gear “Cool Wall” is the very model of good taste. The test “would Kristin Scott Thomas be impressed if you picked her up in it?” (although Kristin has been replaced recently by Fiona Bruce after she displayed some odd attitudes towards cars and said that she owned a Honda Civic…) is rigorously applied and Hammond and Clarkson generally agree on what’s cool and what isn’t.
However, if they disagree then Clarkson has the casting vote as he claims that he never said that Top Gear was a democracy. (He will also put the cards high up to stop Hammond moving them too!)
10. Thou Must Hate Piers Morgan
Piers ran two pictures in The Mirror showing Jeremy allegedly kissing a woman. Jeremy responded by punching him in the face at the British Press Awards and throwing water over him during Concorde’s last flight. Mind you, doesn’t hitting Piers just make us love him even more?
From http://www.breakdowncover.org/blog/jeremy-clarkson-10-commandments thanks to Chris!
If you like Clarkson's sense of humor, his best quotes are here: http://justacarguy.blogspot.com/2010/05/25-awesome-jeremy-clarkson-quotes.html
Allrides has some cool stuff you oughta see
Just the thing to keep a farmer dry when using the tractor in the rain.
There are some things that have been done with VW vans that are a surprise to me, but making a bead blaster cabinet is pretty cool and useful, the waterfall in the garden... mighty unusual
a full size 4 door Caprice snow machine is a first.
see these and all the rest at http://allride.skynetblogs.be/index-12.html Ferrari education 101: This is a 458 Italia, this is what it does (no, I'm not a rated G site for the kids, I'm Just A Car Guy, you've read the title)
Any questions? Thanks to Mike for the email of this one!
Crazy fixes to car problems.. .some of these even impress me with their possible efficient overcoming of challenges the cheap way
Gotta be a heavy beast, but have you ever seen a rebar bike?
This is actually not the first wacko who is deathly afraid of his car getting door dinged I've seen, I posted a photo a couple years ago of a car I parked next to with swimming pool float tubes draped down the sides of his Crown Vic
Not the first time a pair of lifts were needed to reach something, and made it into the safety meeting photos of what not to do at work 
Something the cassette player is useful for! 
Why not? Everyone has used a wrench to beat on something at one point
I like this.... good use for a drill
This ought to worry anyone looking at it, it's innovative, but really unsafe looking
Smart!
Innovative if one wiper arm is broken
Frankenburban. Jo Schmo (great moniker) let me know about a feature photo of the FrankenBurban http://dailyderbi.com/tuning-gone-wrong-when-4-wheels-isnt-enough-edition/ Thanks Jo! Add a profile to your Google or Blogger Profile page so people like me can email you a thank you!
I found another photo of the 33 barrel bike
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